Inaugural Poo
Tomorrow is the big day for Obama’s $173 million dollar party. Nice to have a $173,000,000 party especially in these trying times I would guess, but that’s not what the focus of this post is about. This post is about poo.
No one knows for sure how many people are really going to show up, but everyone thinks it will be between 1million and 2 million dedicated democrats.
You have to be a dedicated democrat to attend a party where, if it’s only one million, you will have the square footage of a sheet of unfolded newspaper to stand on. If there are two million, you will have the space of the front page of a newspaper to stand on. I’m talking about being packed in like sardines folks.
Now some more perspective. All those people are going to have to pee and poo. That is going to require porta potties. According to the people who rent them, you should have 1250 porta potties for every 100,000 people for a 10 hour event.
So let’s do the math. For one million people, there will have to be 12,510 porta potties. For two million people, there should be 25,020 porta potties. After viewing countless media events involving Nancy Pelossi, Barney Frank, Ed Rendell and any Kennedy that’s ever served any office in my lifetime, I personally feel that most democrats are full of poo so those numbers should probably be expanded exponentially, but we’ll go with the hard numbers for now.
Here’s a pleasant fact from wikipedia on porta potties.
“A major disadvantage of portable toilets is that the odor that builds up within the enclosure can quickly reach an unbearable level, especially in tropical climates, where users’ behavior (as well as aiming capabilities) can quickly soil a newly disinfected unit. This is probably due to the fact that the ventilation units are too weak to oust foul-smelling air fast enough, and have a open air duct (without compromising privacy) to allow fresh air in. Consequently, use is akin to a self-imprisonment with one’s excrement – especially if one has a habit of taking a long time to defecate.”
Granted, it’s not going to be a tropical climate tomorrow but it’s not going to be a stroll in a flower garden either, I assure you.
I’m no expert, but I’d estimate that a porta pottie holds roughly 50 gallons of human waste. I’d venture to say that those units will be full and foul by the end of the day tomorrow, so what you will have is 625,500 gallons of democratic poo at the end of the day tomorrow, which is probably comparable to the amount of shit we’ve been fed throughout the campaign.
Keep in mind, that’s assuming that only one million democrats show up. If two million show up, double it. That’s 1,251,000 gallons of poo for one democratic Obamapalooza. Where will they put all that poo? I’m hoping they keep it in DC.
Me? I’ll be going to work like the rest of the hard working republican people who actually keep the economy going, and I’ll be upwind for sure.
